a little scared to be honest

Well, I could start off saying that I will hide behind my camera and looking glass the whole time and subconsciously relive what I did 7 months prior. Whether it's going to be similar or something far from comfortable, I have put my neck out and dove off the dock.
I remember making decisions as a child that were anything but thought out. Sara and Julie, Lauren, I and many others were at the Up North Cottage,. Late night we took a swim, in all of our clothes, and literally froze to death. As most of us slithered our way in the freezing cold water, Sara dove off. I remember looking deeper into the water, and seeing spear like metal rods, that she so unknowingly dove in between. I was terrified, but later realized that all things come together for a reason.
Now, I meditate on most ideas before action occurs. I have always been impulsive, to a great extent, and had an attitude that I would make it through anything that happened to me. I have learned to slow that roll down a bit and digest what haphazard thoughts may pop up. I have also come to realize there are pros and cons to everything decision that you make, this one not excluded. If I would have made this decision two months ago, I may not have ever went through with it. If I made it 2 months from now, I might not be around to live it out. I have made my decision at the best possible time. There are no regrets that will come with a choice that will further empower my future to do as I so happily wish. Ahh yes, another chapter. Everything will be ok. I rest in this moment and belief that it all will be taken care of, and I will not hide behind my camera, I will face it head on!!

a plan for this new year

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2671/3935309072_fc172cfd6d_b.jpg

here's to whatever your inner voice speaks

When I was little I remember having a million different projects going on at once, I could not do it all fast enough. I remember writing little books, reading ten books at once, drawing illustrations that went with those books and some how finding time for a social life ( no, just kidding). And today, while listening to Dave Matthews band, playing on line scrabble, and studying for school (oh and drinking coffee and eating a scone) I happily realize that not much has changed. I scour my brain, filter it out and then act on the most tangible activity at the time. At any given time I will have 10 to 20 things I want to try and do. I was such a busy bee back then and continue to keep it alive. I think if I were to stop, i would be stifling a God given talent that would manifest in other ways. I dream about an open space with a painting corner, a throwing wheel, a drafting table and all the fabric I would ever need; on second thought maybe I should just enroll in art school :) But as sporadic as my thoughts are I have come to love them and nurture their random nature. In other news, I just listened to a hypnosis podcast which was unusually pleasant, but came to realize that I CAN do all these things. I can have twenty projects going on at once, there is nothing wrong with that, and I will finish them at my own pace, one day! First on my list, my short story #1. mom--I still think about that Ponyo film all the time. Inspiration is essential to this process,and it facilitates my thoughts in the first place.
here's some related inspiration: seriously love her clothes!!

http://www.etsy.com/profile.php?user_id=5381559